When a couple makes the very difficult decision to divorce, it is easy for them to lose focus of what’s important in the divorce proceedings. Many couples going through divorce go through a period of feeling a great deal of anger and animosity towards the other spouse and sometimes, that anger can end up affecting any children. Even though their mother and father are divorcing, the children still need to understand that their parents will always be there for them. For the rest of their lives, the parents will still have contact with each other through their children and for those reasons it is important to remain a united front when dealing with the children.
When couples with children are going through a divorce, one of the first factors to take into consideration is setting up a fair child custody and visitation arrangement. In child custody in California, custody and visitation are determined by what is in the best interest of the child. If you are working with a divorce mediator in California, these arrangements can be sorted out during mediation sessions. Even though the divorce mediator cannot make the final decision for the parents, they can help the parties reach an agreement that takes the best interest of the children into consideration. Many times, both parties can agree on joint legal custody which allows each party to have input into major decisions such as school, medical, moving, and much more. While one parent may be appointed primary parent of residence, the parties need to worth together to construct a visitation schedule that allows for time with the parents of ultimate residence. Children, especially those that are younger, need to see both parents on a fair and consistent basis.
When working with the mediator, the parents can discuss their individual schedules to determine which days’ work best for visitation. During this time, the mediator can also help the parents come up with a holiday visitation schedule that will allow the children to share special holidays with both parents.
For children of divorce, it is important to maintain as much of a normal life as possible for them. They may feel confused why both parents are not living together anymore, and may blame themselves for the reason their parents are not together. For those reasons, the parents need to remember that their children do not need to hear any negativity regarding the other parent. The parents also need to understand that no matter what happened between them in the marriage, they are still responsible for raising their children. It is always advisable not to ask children all sorts of questions about the other parent’s life when they come back from a visit with that parent. Working, communicating, and acting as a team for the sake of the children following a divorce is the best course of action to ensure that the children understand that the divorce was not their fault. Divorce isn’t easy on anyone involved, but when the children are involved, it is absolutely crucial to remember to remain civil and amicable with the other parent.