When you walked down the aisle on your big day, chances are you looked at your spouse with all the love, adoration, and affection, and imagined spending the rest of your life happily ever after. When your plans for the future turn out much different than what you had imagined, you may be scrambling to find your footing going through a divorce. No one wants to go through a divorce, but sometimes there are just a multitude of marital issues that cannot be fixed, no matter how hard each party tries.
Often times, couples going through a divorce think they can handle the issues themselves and completely forgot working their issues out in the legal system. While doing so may save money in the short term, in the long term, you may find yourself with more issues than before you had started. Even if you do not think that you and your soon-to-be ex have any issues to straighten out prior to the final divorce, it is always advisable to iron out all issues involving financial responsibilities, household expenses, child rearing decisions, and any other important decision that will impact your newly single lives.
When you go through mediation in California divorce, you’ll find yourself working with a mediator who is completely impartial and is not there to take either side. Think of the mediator as a friend of sorts. They are there to listen to what the issues are at hand and offer solutions that will help both parties work through them and come to a mutual agreement. The mediator will not judge or tell either party they are “wrong” in their beliefs. Once the two parties are able to come to mutual agreements on all of their issues, the mediator will be able to write up the final compromises to be used in your divorce proceedings.
One of the most important things to remember when going into California mediation is that this is your chance to talk about what the issues are and how you would like them resolved. If you feel a certain way about your children spending time around their respective parent’s potential new significant others at some point down the road, speak up. If you are worried that your ex may try to switch your children’s schools to be closer to their new home, speak up. Mediation only works when both parties are completely honest with each other – and are honest with the mediator, as well.
The thought of going through mediation with your estranged spouse can be overwhelming and filled with stress, but please keep in mind that the end result will be worth the stress and anxiety. At the end of the day, both parties will feel a lot better going forward with the divorce once they know their individual issues are straightened out and agreed upon. Divorce is never easy on any one and having kids involved makes it harder. However, working with a California mediator in an open and honest environment will help make sure the future for all parties are involved are much less stressful and are happier.