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No one truly goes into a marriage expecting the worst to happen, but as we are aware, sometimes life has a way of surprising us.  A happy marriage can turn into a sad one in the blink of an eye and before you know it is happening, you find yourself faced with so many questions that you need answered before deciding how to proceed.

 If you find yourself in a position where separating from your spouse is the only option, you may realize that both you and your estranged spouse hold vastly different ideas on areas including child support, visitation arrangements, where you can move, and how you want to raise your children.  If you find yourself at an impasse, you may feel like you will never be able to come to a civilized agreement.  However, before giving up and spending a fortune litigating these issues in a traditional court room, why not consider the services of a mediator?

Hiring a mediator is a viable solution for those spouses that are willing to work through their issues in front of an impartial party (mediator) to resolve their issues amicably without the need of appearing in a court room.  The mediator works with both parties to help them talk out their issues they have surrounding their divorce.  By acting as an impartial person, the mediator facilitates the conversation which will allow both parties to come to agreements they both are comfortable with, without feeling the pressure from dealing with attorneys who are on retainer during divorce proceedings.  One of the best advantages of hiring the services of a mediator is that they does not represent either party and therefore has no vested interest in the outcome of the mediation, other than to help both parties reach a fair compromise.  By having a third party to help facilitate the conversation, it allows for an open and honest dialogue between parties. Mediation can help settle all marital agreements and create a plan going forward that is fair and equitable.

Prior to your appointment with your mediator, you will want to make sure that you have written down all the issues that you hope to work through, as well as any compromises you are willing to make on those issues.  Going in to a mediation session with your estranged spouse can be anxiety causing for many, and sometimes it is easy to let the emotions cloud your judgment.  By having all your “key points” written out and organized, it will make it much easier to focus on the issues at hand, instead of ending up in a screaming match with your soon to be ex-spouse.  Another important consideration when going into a mediation session is to keep an open mind; it may seem adamantly clear what you want to achieve out of your divorce, but remember that in most cases, your spouse also has their own views and considerations relating to child support, custody, visitation,  and property.  At the end of the day, it is a mediator’s hope that she will have facilitated a respectful, civilized, successful session where both parties can come to an agreement and begin the process of healing and moving forward after a divorce. 

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AuthorLaura Rosauer