If there’s one thing that has helped my clients approach divorce from an easier and more relaxed place, it’s their perspective.
Perspective can change everything.
A bad day. A good day. Your marriage is over. Your life is starting fresh.
With mediation, I often remind clients that divorce isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about making the best decisions so that you can move forward with your life.
Sometimes emotions are running really high and if you come to the table angry and ready to fight then that’s exactly what you’re going to get. And it’s easy to understand as the end of your romantic relationship comes to a close and your feelings can be overwhelming.
So how can you remain focused on making the best decisions, moving forward, and not getting dragged down by all of the emotional baggage?
Welcome to the business of divorce.
The process of divorce is much like a business transaction.
And if you can gain this new perspective and approach divorce like a business, then many things can begin to fall into place and you’ll have an easier time navigating the process.
So your ex becomes your business associate. And you’re now in the process of negotiating a deal to be accepted by both parties.
You have to talk money, assets, possession, and responsibilities.
This perspective can shift your entire experience of divorce.
For starters, we don’t treat our co-workers or clients like we would treat an ex. With your ex, there’s a propensity to let emotions run high and the result can be inflammatory. When you don’t see eye-to-eye with a co-worker, would you scream and yell at them or say things just hurt them? Most likely not.
If you treat your divorce and your ex like you would if you were at your job, you can find common ground in trying to do the best job you can. It ensures that the business is handled respectfully and stays productive.
Our ability to make good decisions is clouded by our emotions, particularly anger. And during a divorce, when emotions tend to be quite the rollercoaster, keeping a cool head can lead to better decision-making and a more peaceful dissolution.
Better decision making and a cool head leads to a faster divorce as well. Treating your divorce like a business will help you resolve the business at hand quicker, so you can move on with your life faster. When you remain caught up in the emotional pieces of your relationship, your divorce can drag on, dragging you down with it.
While the idea of marriage and divorce as a business and contract seems terribly unromantic, it’s a perspective that can keep you level-headed and in position to make the best decisions possible.