It’s a new year and a new you. And many of you are deciding that a new you means a single you.
January sees the highest divorce rates of the entire year. For many reasons, couples will often wait until after the holiday season to make their separation official and announce the end of their marriage.
If you are part of this percentage, there are a number of things you can do to bring ease to the divorce process and ensure the new you is a happy single you.
Add these resolutions to your list for the year:
1. Keep it positive
Divorce is a difficult time full of a wide range of emotions. It’s important to remain as positive as possible, both to yourself and to your spouse. We’ve discussed in the past how frustration and anger can lead to regrets. Do not react out of anger and lash out at your spouse. It’s important to keep the relationship as positive as possible.
2. Get the help you need
What does the new single you need to be fully supported throughout this process? Build a team of people around you who can support you and provide the answers you need. Often this will include a lawyer, therapist, accountant, friends, childcare givers, amongst others. Find professionals you are comfortable with, you trust to help you make decisions, and you know will be by your side when necessary.
3. Stay a team
If you have children, it’s important to remember that you and your spouse are still a team when it comes to parenting. This new relationship will need to be negotiated and will take some adjusting, but your children must remain a priority. Work to find solutions that are mutually beneficial and above all, give the children what they need. Avoid speaking negatively about your spouse or having confrontations when your children are present. Keep in mind that to them, you’re still mom and dad.
4. Stay in integrity
Embarking on divorce is a journey that will take some time. Honor yourself and your needs throughout the process. You’ve taken the brave step of moving towards your goals and own desires in life. Don’t forget that when emotions run high or you are negotiating with your spouse. Think about your goals this year and those in the future. Ask for what you want and then be open to finding mutual solutions with your spouse.
The New Year gives us all hope. It’s a time for dreaming big, setting goals, and taking action. Your divorce is no different. You get to choose how you approach it and move through the process. Keep these resolutions in mind as you think about your future and the new single you.