When you decide to divorce, the defenses begin to rise. You no longer want to be vulnerable with your once partner. Instead you begin the process of making the distance final. But does it have to be a defensive process?
Not all divorces are the same. Yes, sometimes you do have to get your own attorney and go to court. This, however, should be the exception. Instead of going to war with each other, find a way to work together. The harder you go against the other, the more costly and emotionally painful will be the experience.
Here are some of the effects of the battle:
· Financial – A divorce in court can go well over $50,000. We have had clients give up the fight in court after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars only to realize they could reach an agreement in mediation after just a few sessions.
· Time – A divorce in court can take up to 2 to 3 times longer than that of one in mediation. You can also expect to spend time waiting in court, having your court dates changed, showing up and not being seen. When you decide that you are ready for your relationship to end, you don’t expect it to take another year or two for it to be official. Most mediations last for 4 sessions on average. Mediation doesn’t drag out the process for years.
· Emotion – Once you begin to feel the financial and time impact of a divorce in the court system, then comes the additional emotional expense. Often people find themselves feeling depressed or anxious in the midst of the overwhelm. This also impacts the children as well. The longer it drags on for you, the longer it is for the children. Children thrive off of clear boundaries and structure. If your family is in limbo, everyone is emotionally impacted.
Feel the relief of going through mediation. Call us to see what kind of divorce is best for you.