She was so angry. How could he get away with changing the schedule, again and without warning? He just expected her to drop everything. What if she had plans? This was the 4th time he had done this. "It's probably that new girlfriend of his. The kids are always complaining about her," she thought as she could feel her blood boiling. Her first reaction was to call and give him a piece of her mind. She was done. Her next call would be to her attorney. "I am taking the kids away from him. He doesn't deserve to be their father." 

A common scenario amongst divorcing couples demonstrates how in an instant anger can rise. While the anger is there, how you channel your frustrations is what is most important. Yes, you can choose what is worth fighting for, but how you fight will impact not only your outcome but your well being as well.

The couples that become harsh with each other and choose every battle as theirs to carry, ends up extending the process and cost of their divorce. At some point, couples can forget that their ex is a human being and they start using threats. How you fight teaches your children how to fight. Threatening only increases fear and makes the other party unwilling to work with you. 

To make the divorce and post divorce process most successful, keep calm and decide what is most important to work on with your ex spouse. Mediation can help you discuss the issues in a productive way.