In our last blog we talked about how unleashing your frustration and anger can be unproductive to the divorce process. This blog is going to discuss how to communicate effectively with your ex spouse. Even when we are upset, we can use tools to help us make our point without hurting another person.

1. Don't react. Slow down your thoughts before you decide what you want to say or do. Often reacting involves saying or doing things that you may later regret.

2. Use I statements. It may feel silly at first, but using I statements is a form of non defensive communication. To get examples of I statements, check out http://www.humanpotentialcenter.org/Articles/IStatements.html

3. Be open to possibilities. If you have assumptions about what they other person has to say, then you probably won't fully listen to them. 

4. Don't respond right away. If you are feeling defensive, on guard or uncertain you can always tell the person that you need to get back to them with a response. Don't threaten about violation of court orders. Threatening increases defensiveness and reduces the chances of resolution.

We hope these tips help you when communicating about difficult topics. If you need more help, contact us to discuss how mediation can help you.