To decide to divorce requires the belief that it is the best option in light of your current circumstances. When people have not decided that it is the best option, they will drag out the process and cause themselves more grief. If you aren't sure if divorce is what you want, then you have a few other options to try first.

-Counseling - we refer couples to counseling if it seems they do want to still try and discover if there is any hope left in their marriage. Counseling can help you uncover the root of the issues in your marriage and give you the tools to improve your life together.

-Trial separation - You can test the waters and see what happens when you are separated. However, these separations work best when you are clear as to the purpose of the separation - is it to work on your marriage?  or is it to see if you can survive without each other?

-Take responsibility - Look at yourself and your part in the marriage. Are you willing to say "sorry"? or are you willing to forgive? If you aren't willing to take an active role in efforts to repair or explore the issues then it won't happen magically. 

If you are considering a legal separation, mediation can help you set the terms of the separation so that each of you is clear about what will happen during the separation with assets , child visitation and other issues.