The ending of a marriage does not come without its conflicts. The anger and hurt that is felt by both people is so overwhelmingly powerful at times that they can end up doing and saying things that only further the pain. The justice system exists to make sure that people are treated fairly. For the sake of being fair, there are things worth fighting for. However, there are things that just end up as a fight for fighting sake. It is in those moments that people get lost and forget the purpose of their actions.
We have seen families torn apart because people got caught up in small things - who got this item or that or a tit for tat in visitation down to the minute. So how do you know if something is worth fighting for in a divorce?
-Remember the big picture. You want to be divorced. In reality, you probably would like it to be over with quickly and with as little pain as possible
-Evaluate your argument. I know that piece of furniture may be really important to you right now. Is it because of its sentimental value, the financial value or because you don't want your soon to be ex to have anything at all? Understand why you are fighting for it. If it is for payback then you may want to rethink things. Payback can take a long time in the court system.
-Be calm and clear. Communicate about what you are fighting for and be clear about the why. Tell your attorney or mediator. Tell your spouse even. But when you tell them, tell them with clarity and peace of mind. If you start shouting, become enraged or hurtful towards other people, no one will want to listen to you.
Even the most passionate of fights can be resolved with mediation, believe it or not. All it takes is a willingness to get through the process. Sometimes those that find themselves locked into a court battle wish they had never started there in the first place.